MatthewMeyer.net

I got a call from Showtime yesterday (the cable network). Apparantly they looked up “Medicine Cabinet” on Google images and found my sophomore year painting. They liked it, and are offering to buy it! Woot!

So I touched it up a bit, as you can see below. I’m pretty excited, so hopefully this will all go very well.

Remember last year when I made those storyboards and said I’d upload them? And I never did? Well… to make up for it, here they are now, in a nice and easy browsing format:

Act I, Scene 3
Act II, Scene 11

I guess some of you are wondering what I’m going in school currently…

Well, I’m taking Advanced Illustration, Advanced Computer Illustration, Portfolio, Advance Figure Painting, and Understanding the Art of Film.

Thanks to global warming and the increased number of hurricanes hitting us, school has been slowed down quite a bit, so I only have 2 illustrations to show for this semester so far. The piece with the samurai needs a lot of work… I ran out of time before it was due and what you see is what I turned in. When I finally get some free time I’m going to continue working on it. The one with the monkey is supposed to be a business card.

Currently I am working on a pair of chickens in top hats and monocles (as promised) and a redesigned cover for the game Clue, starring famous horror movie monsters instead of Colonel Mustard et al. I also have plans, whenever purple monkeys fly out of my butt and give me some free time, to make a new episode of Historical Matchmaker, and a mockumentary about Gaming.

Those are the names of the 3 main animals at this house.

You may already know about Igor the parakeet. He is doing rather well. Actually I think he’s making an emotional breakthrough; I just saw him play with his bell for the first time yesterday. Well… he more just touched it… but it’s a start. And today I saw him nibble on it for a few seconds, and then swing the whole contraption once. That’s a very good sign. I’ve also discovered another important fact: Igor was a metalhead in a past life. He’s developed a strong connection to two rock bands… why these two I don’t know, but it seems to be only them. Whenever I play Rush or Black Sabbath, Igor breaks loudly into song. I’m very happy that he’s found his niche.

As for the other two, Pure Uncut Funk is the neon-pink gecko who lived on our front porch. We’d see him scurry every time we went outside. I say lived, because he no longer lives on our porch. I saw him in our bathroom last night. If you’ve ever seen a gecko run… well it’s kind of creepy. They run like giant silverfish or centipedes… or caterpillars… it’s very interesting indeed.

And Greg is our mailbox cockroach. He lives in our mailbox by choice, since he clearly has a way out, and we’ve knocked him out many times before. But he always comes back. He waits for us on the top piece of mail, as if guarding it. Thank you, Greg, the mailbox roach.

So yes, that is the zoo that lives here in my house.

I recieved an email about Bush today (well, this happens quite often actually), but this one stuck out because it is short, blunt, and to-the-point. I’ve actually editted this email down a bit, removing snide parenthetical comments that are pretty much there only to add opinion to the facts. I also added a few things that the email left out. I can’t remove all of the sass from it, but I have done so in a lot of places. Obviously this is still a biased list, only address Bush’s failures as president, but if you support Bush or are undecided, please read this email and take into serious consideration the future of our country (and more importantly, the world) if he is re-elected.

Dear voters,

I attacked and took over 2 countries.

I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the US Treasury.

I shattered the record for the biggest annual deficit in history.

I set an economic record for the most personal bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.

In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.

After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.

I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips by any president in US history.

In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.

I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any other president in US history.

I set the all-time record for most real estate foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.

I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any president since the advent of TV.

I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any other US president in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.

I cut health care benefits for war veterans.

I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.

I’ve made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US history.

Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The poorest multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.)

I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously struggle against bankruptcy.

I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud in any market in any country in the history of the world.

I am the first president in US history to order a US attack AND military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the vast majority of the international community.

I have created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States, called the “Bureau of Homeland Security.”

I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any other president in US history.

I am the first president in US history to compel the United Nations remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.

I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Elections Monitoring Board.

I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.

I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant. I withdrew from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors access during the 2002 US elections.

I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.

The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.

I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied, saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1).

I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.

I took the world’s sympathy for the US after 9/11, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).

I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I set the all-time record for the number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling their huge investments in corporations bidding for gov’t contracts.

I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.

I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category straight down.

I allowed assault weapon bans to expire, allowing people to purchase weapons that used to be available only to the military.

I fought hard to allow drilling and logging in preserves and national parks that were set aside to preserve our national heritage for future Americans.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine. (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available.)

I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during time of war.

I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father’s library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All minutes of meetings of any public corporation for which I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

With Love,

GEORGE W. BUSH

The White House, Washington, DC

It’s been a while since I’ve written here because I’ve been busy evacuating for Hurricane Ivan, which was supposedly to hit Sarasota. Of course, the trajectory now looks like it will not hit there at all, so here I sit in Daytona Beach, bored as heck.

See, I thought Sarasota was boring with nothing to do… but Daytona Beach is the nexus of nothingness. It feels like Atlantic City, only much much bigger, and completely empty. It’s basically a long strop of pavement and a racetrack. The beach was OK, but nothing like Sarasota beaches. I’m so sick of eating fast food… I can’t wait to be able to go grocery shopping again.

Actually, I was hoping that Ivan would completely destroy Ringling. I’m so sick of evacuating and losing power and all that crap week after week after week, since we have such an active hurricane season this year. I’m really sick of it. It’s making it impossible to get any work done, and this is senior year! So far, 2/3 of my time here this semester has been majorly affected by hurricanes. Oy!

Well, since Ivan looks like it wont destroy Ringling anymore we may be heading back home tonight. I hope so… Daytona is not the place I want to be right now. I’d also like to be able to actually do some work for a change and catch up…

Well, I’m not He-Man, but I do indeed have electricity. And not a moment too soon, for Hurricane Ivan, the strongest hurricane in recorded history, is heading straight for us! Well I’m really thankful to have my power back. It has made all the difference in this week and I am once again happy. Although still quite stressed from having lots of work to catch up on, and a mountain of work avalanching straight towards me. Not to mention I have to prepare for game this Saturday.

I just hope that Ivan doesn’t cause too much destruction (yea, right). This hurricane is serious business, and unless there’s some miracle, my house is going to be underwater next week.

Pray. For. Mojo.

(Oh, and check out these entries (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) from Eric Chapman’s blog and read his stories about the previous two hurricanes. They’re quite amusing.