Not Quite Finished Yet
So today I had my thesis presentation. I don’t know what the hell was wrong with my, but I forgot to dress up for the presentation. Worse, I forgot to spit my gum out during my presentation. Oy! How stupid can I be? Well, that’s that and despite those blunders I think I did a good job. My classmates didn’t seem to mind my foolishness (I can’t believe how rude it was of me though… I felt awful afterwards). Thank goodness for that.
I thought the stress would melt away after my presentation, but if anything it’s intensified tenfold! My next step is to trim my paintings to fit my frames (and I already messed up on one of them). After that I need to paint the edges and frame them, write an artist statement, shoot some slides of the pieces, and write up a category page for the school’s records. I also have about 6 book reviews to write, and a term paper on China/Taiwan relations due pretty soon. Aside from my schoolwork, I have to burn some DVD’s for a friend, create a few different portfolios for different types of clients, visit some of the campus recruiters (now that I supposedly have the time), and begin working on a professional website… all of this before I graduate and start the job hunt! It’s quite a feat to accomplish. So much for some R&R before “the real world” starts.
Thinking about getting a job stresses me out so much. Not so much fear of getting rejected at this point; for now it’s the fear that I am absolutely 100% unprepared to go job hunting. My portfolio needs serious fixing up, my website has no online portfolio, I have no self-promotional materials yet, no business card, and my body of work is not diverse enough for the different types of jobs I want to apply to. Once I solve all of those problems, then the fear of rejection can begin it’s toll… Oh how I wish that was the only thing plaguing me. I’ve also got a bad case of cynicism towards starting out with any new venture (of which there are plenty) because I was ripped off by three companies that I’ve done work for. And both of those were found through my school’s career services, so it’s not like they didn’t appear to be reliable sources. It really sucks to do a bunch of work only to have your employer run away without contacting you, without paying you, and very likely illegally using your work somewhere else. Grrr…
I also want to write letters to my host family and friends from Japan, and some serious Thank You letters to my relatives who helped pay for my education.
You can see that I tend to ramble more when I’m under stress.
I just want to get that stuff done so I’m in a good place when I get home for the summer. Then I can spend the summer looking for a job, working like crazy on broadening my portfolio, and playing D&D (for which I have been dying for a fix).
Dude. Simplify. You’re going to kill yourself like this. Trim some of that stuff out. Do you really need to create that many different portfolios? Okay, so it’d be cool if you had them all, but they aren’t going to care that you made all of those different versions, they’re only going to be seeing the one you give them, and if you rushed to create five different versions, that means each prospective client sees one rushed version. What message does that send? They don’t know what you’re going through. So either simplify (just create a bunch of pages you can slip into a tombo binder and send off, customizing the content for each prospect) or make one amazing porftolio that lights up and has holograms, or is imbedded in a working musical instrument, or promises a free Ipod if they hire you. Something like that.
(it gets really ramble-ish after here, and I apologise, but I’m not going to proofread or edit, because it’s late and I need sleep)
I went the tombo route. And I was woefully unprepared. And my body of work only really lent itself to editorial illustration. And look, I got a job at a newspaper doing editorial illustration. Is that my career? No, but it was where my portfolio was strongest, and it’s paying the bills till I can get my neurons organised enough to persue something I’d rather be doing.
…. though I’ve got a feeling that in 10 years I’m going to be one of those illustrators that does freelance work and the occaisional temporary staff job… which is not a bad way to live, really, if any of the speakers Ringling had were any indication. I could handle Peter DeSeve’s lifestyle, really. Bring it on. Not exactly what I planned, but nothing ever is.
So stop making such rigid plans.
… the most memorable part of my last two weeks as a Ringling Student was the exact same thing you’re going through. All that stress, all that activity, rushing, worrying, pressure, all of that.. and on top of it, I was also on the senior show comittee, and was in charge of trying to get publicity on a $0 budget, which wasn’t easy but I got us some, at least. But the point I’m making is that after all the work was done (at the last minute, literally, I was framing work up untill about half an hour before the doors opened to the public, and hung my last work after the first viewer had walked in) everything went to shit. The comittee gambled: we bet everything that it wouldn’t rain on opening night.. we spent everything in our budget on neat cool shit, got really good food, and went all out because all of the previous years had left over cash from their budget and their shows were kinda bland. We wanted to be rockstars. We didn’t buy anything to protect the food or the chinese lanterns, or any of that from rain. What happened? Biggest downpour that we’d had so far that year struck just after the doors opened.
Think about that. We damn near killed ourselves trying to make everything perfect and it didn’t matter. Okay, so we salvaged things. The caterers and someone (probably Erik Hageman) put their heads together and improvised in a hurry.. and that’s why the food was inside. All that stuff was supposed to be outside. But an hour and a half into the show you wouldn’t know it.
So, calm down a little. Yeah, there’s a lot to do, and afterwards the silence will be deafening, but it’ll be alright. Chill.
And I’d love to play DnD with you, but I’m not anywhere nearby.
O..O MYA!!! saru has such ii tomodachi! lucky!
gomen for not being around much these days… myarr, wish me could do more than just saying ganbatte! hao ai hao ai hao ai ni lah ~3~
Eric – I guess I ought to reiterate that by multiple portfolios I really just meant multiple copies of my portfolio for mailing… with the eventual intention of customizing them for separate clients. I’m aware I have no time to create a whole new body of work any time soon. But thanks for the advice, I’ll definitely keep it in mind.